I knew it was time to surrender to my problems when I started to cry as I listened to the popular song Ironic by Alanis Morissette, while driving. I can no longer pretend that I’m calm, add to all of this the road rage caused by the ridiculous amounts of stress that comes with driving in Miami, a true terror; every time there’s a merge lane situation I literally don’t know if i’m going to make it. Then add construction going on for months now at home in renovations and I’m seriously done, I cannot continue like this.
I’ve started to slowly give up the the possibility of me continuing to pursue my career in editorial work at the moment. No opportunities are being offered to me no matter how many I apply for constantly and on a global scale. At this point the lack of purpose is getting to me, so I stop and think, “Why am I still here, waiting?” I think I should leave the U.S., it’s not the land of the American Dream anymore and it has too many stresses to bare while also trying to be patient and motivated, ready for when the opportunity offers itself. Everyone is dying to get into the country and I’m just hear with generalized anxiety thinking that although we don’t have it the worst things aren’t improving they are getting worse. People as I like to say are rotting away on the inside and masking it all on the surface.
Italy seems like a better solution, although it too is suffering as a country from a lot of economical problems at least you have a life there. People actually get vacation time, are more responsible on the road, aren’t hollering out sexist comments at you (disclaimer: this mainly applies to the shit behavior of hispanics in Miami.) Or maybe France where people may be aloof but they do come together to fight against abuses in the work place. America is nothing but materialism and people only thinking of their own well being in respect to wealth and easily forget about the important things in life like love, family and freedom.
I’m that girl who has 10,000 spoons and all I really need is a knife.